(We Love Your Cock)
Announcer: Is your cock sad? Has your cock lost it’s magic touch. Well, never fear! Here, at the Cock Lovers, we will take your cock, in our hands. That’s right, we will treat your cock with the love it needs. We will pet it, kiss it and spoil it to death. Some people say our kisses can get a cock wild. It doesn’t matter how old the cock is, we take anything. Cock is cock to us, just don’t bring a pussy. So don’t wait, make that call, your cock deserves it.
The Board Meeting for The Rooster Lovers
The board members stare angrily at the young man responsible for this commercial
Boss: Horny teens and old men. That’s what showed up.
Young Man: I swear, that commercial sounded a whole lot better in my head.
– The End-
( Daddy where did I come from?)
Father: Yes, son?
Child: Where did I come from?
Father: Well, you came from the seed of the mail man.
Child: I did?
Father: That’s right, mommy is filthy whore who loves to have a lot of sex with different men.
Child: She is?
Father: That’s right. But one day mommy forgot to take her pill, lord and behold here you are.
Father: Which makes you a bastard. Mommy is only with me to save her reputation.
Child: I. . .
Father: You know why Daddy is still with her?
Father: Daddy is still with that lying bitch because he loves to rub it in her face everyday.
Child: Daddy. . .
Father: And mommy just sits there and takes it.
Child: . . .
Father: Like she takes it on anal Fridays.
Child: Please, no.
Father: Nothing to fear, son, Daddy will tell you more when your sixteen.
Child: Daddy, do you love me?
Child: I love you, Dad.
Father: I love you too, you little bastard.
( Karma II)
A group of lawyers, sit at a bar enjoying there drinks after another successful win.
Pete: Life is good boy’s, not only did I win my counter sue against the old woman for One Million dollars, but I also took her house away. Let’s just say little old granny is going to be eating dog food for the remainder of her life.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Same Lawyer at a Doctors office.
Pete: Tell me Doc, I can take it.
Doctor: How do I break this gently?
Pete: Just tell me!
Doctor: I’m afraid you have lung cancer, colon cancer, throat cancer, aids, herpes, and a tumor of the size of a golf ball in your head.
Pete: What should I do?
Doctor: Don’t worry, I got you covered.
Pete: Oh, thank God.
The doctor hands him a card.
Doctor: Ask for Sal, he’s a good friend of mines. I’m sure he could give you 50% off a good coffin.
The Nurse walks in and whispers something into the Doctor’s ear.
Doctor: I have good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?
Doctor: Bad news is, that I have to cancel my Golf game later today.
Pete: And the good news?
Doctor: You don’t have a gulf size tumor in your head.
Pete: Thank you Jesus, I knew you loved me.
Doctor: That’s right, it’s the size of an orange.
Pete: . . .
Doctor: Stupid me, that’s bad news to. Oh well, life goes on. Sadly not for you.
Doctor pats Pete on the back.
Doctor: Look at the bright side.
Pete: What bright side?
Doctor: At least you don’t have Jaundice?
Pete: That’s right!
Doctor looks at the chart
Doctor: Oh, wait never mine.
Pete: Oh God.
Doctor: Yeah, well see ya. Remember make your peace with God.
– The End-