( Son, It’s Time You Became A Man)
Father: Son, your growing up.
Father puts his hand on his seven year old son shoulder’.
Father: And, you have the soul of a warrior.
Son: I do?
Father: You do.
Father: Nothing can hurt you, Son, you are God.
Father: That’s right.
Son: I didn’t know.
Father: I didn’t want to tell you anything, but I feel like the time is right.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Father: I love you, too. Your such a man ,son, you can take down that blood thirsty bear outside that refuses to leave us alone.
Son: I can?
Father: Son, you have the soul of a warrior, nothing can stop you.
Son: Alright, that bear is dead!
The Son runs out of the cabin to take on the hungry, blood thirsty bear.
Father: I love kids, they’re so stupid.
The Father runs off to safety.
– The End-
A Body lies on the floor.
Detective: Someone killed this woman. there’s only four of us here. Butler did you see who committed this murder?
Butler: No sir, I was to busy strangling the hooker.
Detective: What about you doctor?
Doctor: I was to busy, strangling my own.
Doctor: I was jerking off.
Detective: Ahh. What about you Ms. Humps.
Ms. Mumps: That’s Mumps.
Detective: Yes, what were you doing?
Ms. Mumps: I was busy doing crack off a switch blade.
Detective: Well, I didn’t see anything. I was to busy strangling this woman. Ah shit.
– The End-
( TV show: Doctors Facing Racial Issues, ON ABC)
White Doctor pushes the door into the ER
White Doc: I have it worse, because I’m white. And people think I had it easy. And they think I don’t like black people.
Black Doctor walks in.
White Doc: You scared me, and it’s not because your black.
Black Doc: It’s harder on me, because I’m black. The man is always holding me down. Everyday I have to work harder then you White Doctor, just so I can pay off my new car, new house, and my new wives breast.
White Doc: You mean wife.
Black Doc: You wish.
Latino Doctor walks in
Latino Doc: Well I have it harder.
Black Doc: He speaks English, or I understand Spanish very well.
Latino Doc: Everyday someone keeps mistaking me for the janitor or the cook.
White Doc: Your not the cook?
Latino Doc: I will cut you.
Asian Doctor walks in
Asian Doc: That’s nothing.
Asian Doctor mouths moves, like those bad Kung Fu Movies.
Asian Doc: I have worked so hard, and yet I’m treated poorly. ( Kung Fu Laugh)
Latino Doc: How is he doing that?
Asian Doc: And it’s all because I’m Asian. No one can top that.
A Bright Light comes bursting through the door.
Super Doc: Oh yeah.
All Docs: Who can that be?
Super Doc: Well I’m Black, Jewish, and a cripple
All Docs gasp.
Super Doc: And to top it off, I’m a woman.
White Doctor: Yes she is.
All Male Doctors look at her breast.
Super Doc: You make me sick.
Announcer: Stay Tune Next week, when we meet THE SUPER LATINO, BLACK, JEW, ASIAN, CRIPPLED, AND MENTALLY RETARDED DOCTOR CORY!
Cory: They let me hold a knife!
– The End –
(Jesus For President)
Reporter 1: Jesus, can you fix the economy?
Jesus: I’m Jesus, not superman. Next question
Reporter 2: Jesus, how will you solve the Health Care Crisis.
Jesus: I plan to cure and heal the sick.
Reporter 2: How?
Jesus: hello, Jesus.
Reporter 3: Jesus, whose your running mate?
All Reporters: Oh, bad choice.
– The end-
(Did You Hear the News)
Male Co-Worker: Did you hear the News!
Female Co-Worker: I did, Chris got Maggie pregnant. Now she want’s to have the baby, but he doesn’t. And Maggie threaten to tell Chris wife’s about what happened. And now Chris is freaking out.
Male Co-Worker: I meant the news, about the new candy machine.
Female Co-Worker: Awesome, have to check it out.