3-way #5 BY: Jesse Abundis

( The Magical Vagina )

A Woman comes in for her checkup, while her husband waits in the car.

Doctor: Well, okay. Let’s see what we’ve got here ?

Female Patient: Same old, same old.

Doctor: Well, okay. Here we. . . . WOW

The Doctor see’s something coming out.

Female: What’s wrong?

Doctor: Have you shaved?

Female: Yes?

Doctor: That is the hairiest Beaver I’ve seen.

Husband Walks in

Husband: Babe, I don’t want to wait in the car. Can’t I see the Doctor stick his finger, in the bottomless pit ? Holy crap, what’s that ?

Female: What is it ?

A Small little Beaver pops out.

Doctor: Oh my, that’s never happened before ?

Husband: That was the smell.

Female: Carl!

Husband: What? I smelled wet stinky beaver, let’s just be glad it wasn’t coming from you hun.

Beaver: Where am I?

Doctor & Husband : IT TALKS!


Beaver: AHH!

Female: Oh, my God. Please tell me this isn’t happing ?

Doctor: What should we do?

Husband: Push it back in?

Female: No, no one is pushing anything inside me.

Husband: She’s the same way in bed.

Female: CARL!

Doctor: Where did you come from, little fellow.

The Doctor Picks up the Beaver and begins to stroke him.

Husband: Hey baby, the Doctor is stroking your beaver.

Female: Shut up, Carl.

Beaver: I’ve come from the land of Cuntarnia.

Husband: Wow, how is it?

Beaver: Dry, lonely, and loveless.

Husband: Yup, that sounds about right.

Doctor: Do you want to go back little fellow.

Female: This can’t be happing.

Beaver: I rather like it here. And to tell the truth, I feel welcomed and loved for the very first time.

Husband: Can we keep it baby?

Female: NO!

Husband: So, my wife’s vagina is a portal to this fairyland Cuntarnia ?

Doctor: It seems so.

Husband: Baby, you have a magical vagina.

Female: Oh, God. Please I beg you, take this whole attention away from me.

Another Husband comes running in

Husband 2: Doctor, you’re not going to believe it.


Doctor: What?

Husband 2: My wife, is throwing a fist full of chocolate out of her Vagina.

Doctor: And?

Husband: Here’s the best part, an Oompa-Loompa came out!

Doctor, Husband and the Beaver Gasp in excitement

The Wife looks up in the sky and thanks God.

Female: I owe you one.

A Lion roar comes out of her Vagina

Female: You bastard.

– The End –










( Things you should keep to yourself)


A Man stands in a busy line in the grocery store, with a gallon of milk.

( Man ) I love milk, because I pretend it’s my Mother’s Breast milk!

The people just stare at him.

( Man) Mmmm, yummy.

– The End-





Late Night Phone Calls


Gina: Hello ?

Rick: It’s me, babe.

Gina: Oh, why are we calling this late night?

Rick: I wanted to have phone sex?

Gina: Ricky, your dirty boy. Okay. . .

Another Call comes in.

Gina: Can you hold baby?

Rick: Sure thing.

Gina: Thanks.



Gina Takes the other call

Gina: Hello?

Ashley: Hey girl.

Gina: Hey Ash, just one sec.

Ashley : No problem.

Gina takes the other call

Gina: Hey baby, you ready to rock my world.

Rick: Oh yeah.

Gina: Give it to me big boy.

Rick: Oh baby, I ‘m going to give it to you in the. . .

Gina Switches the call back Ashley

Gina: Hey girl, so what’s going on ?

Ashley: Are you busy?

Gina: No, nothing to big.

Ashley: Cool, I got a story to tell.

Gina: Oh, dish girl.

Ashley: Well, Stacy, was cheating on Brad.

Gina: Shut up!

Ashley: Nope, and now Brad plans to sleep with Stacy’s Mom!

Gina: Oh, my god.

Ashley: And I was like. . .

Gina Switches back to Rick

Rick: Can you feel it baby.

Gina: That’s it, give to me big boy.

Rick: I’m going to rock your world.

Gina Switches back Ashley.

Ashley: And I was like WOO, this can’t be happing, were all naked In bed with her Mom. . .

Gina Switches back to Rick

Rick: I’m your bitch, I”M YOUR BITCH.

Gina Switches back to Ashley

Ashley: And, we met Mel Brooks, I’m not sure how that happened, but then. . .

Gina Switches back to Rick

Rick is crying after getting off

Rick: I feel so weak.

Gina goes back to Ashley

Ashley: You know what I mean?

Gina: Totally.

Ashley: See, your like the only person. . .

Switches back to Rick

Rick: You know where I’m coming from right babe?

Gina: Of course.

Rick: I shouldn’t be ashamed that I wear women’s . . .

Switches back to Ashley

Ashley: Thanks for listening, talk to you tomorrow.

Gina: Can’t wait.


Ashley hangs up. Gina Switches back to Rick

Rick: It doesn’t make me less of a man?

Gina: It sure doesn’t.

Rick: God, I love you.

Gina: Love you too.

Rick: Talk to you tomorrow ?

Gina: You know it.


– The End-


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