2. Make a youtube channel that shows them what their lives will be with you in the next ten years, the kids you’ll have and the last words you’ll say together on your death bed. Nothing turns a soulmate on like knowing what’s around the corner.
3. Put your hair into their food. Now this might sound extreme, but look at it this way, when your soulmate eats your hair, the both of you are connected like never before. Where they go, you go. Until they pass it out, which in that case repeat the cycle.
4. Take out the competition! Yes, there are other fish in the sea, but if an oil leak were to happen those fishes wouldn’t be a bother. Rememeber this is for your children -the ones you picture in your head- so take out anyone that flirts, talks, texts, pokes them on facebook, winks, yawns in front of the, which we know yawning is like giving a bj under the table.
Once everyone around them is gone, they’ll have no choice but to rely on you 24/7
5. Sometimes soulmates are blind to love, so drug them, tie them to the bed, put a cinder block between their legs and grab a baseball bat.
REMEMBER THIS IS FOR LOVE, so swing high and swing fast, breaking their legs will show them how much quality time you want to spend with them, while you nurse them back to health, then repeating the process again.
CONGRATS, YOU’RE NOW IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP