RAGE QUIT: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS

HO HO HO HO, FUCCCCCCK ME!!!

You there, what day is it? Why today, It’s Christmas Day, sir.

Like I didn’t know that, it was Christmas in October, and it was Christmas in November, and now we have to be reminded a third time. If  Christmas was a person, it would be college sorority girl, it does things in three, WHAT I SAID IT!

But let’s not forget what this day is really about, it’s about giving the ones you love, the gifts of peace, love and joy…..FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU!

Christmas is a breeding ground of stress, headaches and massive fits of FUCKING RAGEEEEEE! Have you been to the mall, have you? Mothers would rip your throat to get a pair of slippers, slippers that will be forgotten in a heartbeat, gifts that will never please anyone, cause you know when they say ” Ohhh, how nice.” They’re really saying ” I hope choke on a chicken bone.”

 

Have you seen the TV commercials, it’s Santa plugging all the new gadgets and toys, it’s like he’s telling the kids, the moms, the dads, your friends, your girlfriend, your wife, if they don’t give you this new CAR this holiday, you’re hanging with a cheap bastard. FUCK YOU SANTA, I thought we were cool man, I can’t afford that, I barely make enough to eat Cat Food, you really want me to save up for a car, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH. I would stab that fat jolly bastard with a  candy cane in his rosy fat cheeks and I would make Ms Clauses and the fucking Elves watch as I bathed in his pain!!! How does he not die from diabetes , FUCK, I just checked Google, he’s not real!!!

 

YOU HEAR THAT KIDS, SANTA ISN’T FUCKING REAL, THERE’S NO CREEPY FAT PEDOPHILE LURKING IN THE NIGHT! SANTA IS JUST A MADE UP CORPORATE STOOGE!

Someone had to tell the kids, just be glad it was ME and not Google.

 

But hey Christmas, I got a gift for you. It’s got a bow too. Open it up, what is that? It’s one of a kind

 

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

 

Peace and Love, bitches!

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