Humor/Comedy

Joe Biden’s Diary #1

/ jesse2007 / Leave a comment

Dear the ting


Why does MAGA want to vote for Trump? I don’t get it; I out racist him. I locked up cornpop. Heck, I’ll call Mexicans worse than rapers, and I’ll mock their God Speedy Gonzales. Savage people, they worship a rat! True story, but they make great guacamole!

I need those dumbers on my side, like the teenage girls I forcefully hug, sniff their hair, and whisper into their ear, “No serious men till your 30. Vote blue if you want an abortion!” Yes, I shout that last part out loud; it has to be done forcefully, against their will. No apologies. Kids can’t hear a thing; their ears are shot to hell. I blame it on the record player. This is why I have to get close, real close, so close you can see the red lights flashing. Put your hands on the dashboard, and it’ll be alright.

Anyway, I gotta go dairy queen.
This mentally challenged person is coming to my office soon; her name is Kamala. Poor thing thinks North Korea is the good guy; everyone knows it’s West Korea, right between Obama Blvd.

P.S

Have you seen my son’s laptop?

*

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Rage Quit: America And Corporations

/ jesse2007 / Leave a comment

What’s that sir, bend down and let you screw me over! WELL HELL YES I’LL LET YOU DO THAT, YOU ARE CORPORATE AMERICA AFTER ALL!!!! 😀
FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!

If there’s a few things you can count in life, being let down after knowing Santa isn’t real, having someone eat the last cookie, and having corporations fuck you over in life. Remember that.

Corporations are a group of rich people, really in love with themselves, hate anyone who doesn’t have a fancy suit. Corporations are like this kid who see’s pizza on the table, enough for everyone, but the moment that little sick poor kid comes over for a slice, they shove him away the table. And the sick kid is like “ all I want is one slice.” and the rich kid is like “ NO, it’s mine!”

The poor kid is like “come on dude, I’m really hungry, I helped you build that tree house.”

Then the rich kid is like “ You know, you’re right. Here’s a piece of pepperoni.” That son, is how America works.

Back then in the golden ages, the rich used to put two bucks into the system, for every dollar a hard working American gave. That kept the nation stable. Now the rich grab the hammer, hit the poor guy over the head, take their dollar, then proceed to piss on the poor man as they lay unconscious and even take photos tea bagging them.

The crazy part about American life, is if rich fat cats fail in life, they get bails out. If we fail in life, we get to set up a cardboard home outside a freeway and have to fight another homeless guy for a piece of moldy bread. AMERICA!!!

The sad part is that people in the US actually believe that’s what life is all about, and if we want better we got to fight harder, get three jobs, cut off all life and still fall short. That is the story we are teaching our kids and future generations. You might say well, corporations are like that all over the world, yes, but here in America is where it starts.

We should be the nation saying “ NO TO GREED.” and “ YES TO CHANGE AND EQUALITY.” But that story has only existed in fiction, because America is the front runner in pushing bills like the TPP, SOPA, CISPA, TPA all into law. Bills that would destroy freedom, destroy our rights to speak out against corporations doing harm to the nation and people.

America preaches fairness, fairness to the greedy kid eating all the pizza, but not to the sick little kid chewing on the pepperoni 30 times to make sure it lasts.

FUCKKK ME, that’s what AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT, AMERICA!