Find It In Your Heart

Can you see it in your heart
Can you find an ounce to drop
As I’m shoved
Dropped to the floor
Spat, and robbed of a life
That wanted me
That could of been
Will you save my tattered soul
Will you speak well of my name
As others try to break
Hope the pain
Finally takes me
Will you put yourself in the heat
Of these lies
Those twisted lies
Guilt by association
Will you be true
As I have been true to you

(Jesse Abundis)


The Harsh Truth

You always wonder where you will be after your first novel. I think others dream of being famous, world renowned, everyone with their own ideal fantasy playing in their head. I think a younger me, would go crazy with such thoughts, measuring sucess and failure, like it matters.

Now in my age, being through publishing and promoting, growing as a writer, growing as a person. Where I stand, is in an area called “I don’t really give a fuck.” And it’s a better place than the one I see a lot of authors find themselves in.

I’ve seen the author go mad by wearing themselves thin by social media, always on it, always waking up in the middle of the night to it, seeing them meltdown, seening them be absolutely fake that they can’t stand themselves. I look at my area and thank my lucky stars.

Be careful when you write, figure out what you want, figure out what really brought you here. Before you press sumbit. Was it your passion, was it your dream, or did you just want the ego trip?

So much can go wrong in this field, authors getting consumed with trying to win a race that doesn’t exist. Authors spending time on forums trying to find a way to beat the system on Amazon so their books can climb the top, the RT game, the review for review beg forums. All of it, just the whole life style is a bag of pointless, how much of your life are you going to leave on the table, to win a war with no winners.

A lot of authors are out there sounding more and more like a desperate fool trying to sell a pyramid scheme. Some are buying it, and it’s sad. To win, you just have to be happy and content with what you’ve created, leave the fame behind, we’re not in the olden days of when writers were treated like rock stars. Just write, go home, get sleep, and be happy.

But it’s hard to get that message out to others. True story, an author posted on FB she needed her books to sell because she stopped working because of social anxiety and needed this book to sell or her family would be on the streets. One has to wonder if this is real and if it is, why in the world would this woman put her family so at risk, to lock herself away and write, when knowing the dream doesn’t always pay the bills. Buyer beware.

I work, I write, I live my life. But I never will let myself be consumed to the point where I give my time to bang my head on the wall. Whatever comes I’m ok with it. I have no fears because I’ve found myself tapped with no sales for this month. Because I love writing and I still would do it for free.

A Few comics to read

Here are a few comics you should really check out! 

Batman Earth One Vol.1
Is one of my favorites. A whole new take on the Batman history, it’s darker, it’s edgy, you will fall in love with it! And Vol.2 only gets better.

Superman Earth One Vol.1 
Another whole new origin for the Man Of Steel and one of most human takes you could get on him. Some people have been divided on the series. But I’m sold on this. 

Walking Alone 

Walking alone

In my silent dream

No voice

No hope

Can not see

Can not feel

A joy

A curse

A time to fall

As my ashes scatter

Just another lost echo

In life

I have no choice

Life has come

And exited my life

(Jesse Abundis)

Lowering The Bar

Do you know why all retail giants are screwed? No, it’s not Amazon. It’s because all retail giants set the bar sooo fucking low. They set it low the moment they started to let the thought of “We can pay people less if they don’t have college degrees!” Don’t believe me, walk into any retail store and ask said Supervisor or Store Managers if they have a college degree in business, and the answer may shock you. But the bigger shocker might be none of them actually never finished college. 

I can already hear some of you say “Just because they didn’t finish college doesn’t mean they’re not fit to lead!” True, 1 out of 100 might be gifted with management skills off the bat, but looking at retail as a whole, you might be utterly shock how many of those passed along end up doing more harm to the environment around them. If you breed the ideology of unintelligent into said world, then don’t be shocked to see the end result.

The real victim here are college students. Think about it, if you worked so hard to earn a degree and then end up getting reject because they see you as too “High Maintenance” and probably the person doing the interview is someone who didn’t put 99% of the effort of getting a degree you have, so they kick you around and tell you to look elsewhere. Or the old clich√© words said by many “If they graduated college why are they here, ha ha.” Said by someone who’s highest point was fucking one of their teenage co-workers.

The bar has been set low that’s it’s just sad now. College students are being forced to be lower class citizen’s in the eyes of the work force. The good jobs have been made a members only club, so if you don’t know a guy who knows a guy you might be stuck taking orders from Tom who out of high school worked 4 yrs in retail, kissed ass, got drunk with the supervisors and now is your boss.

The funny thing in all this, is that retail Giants keep asking themselves why are we failing? My response to that would be, you get what you pay for.

Lost And Gone

Should of said your name

Should of held you close

We needed no introduction

We sparked

Glowing hearts in the murky night

Knew the groove , knew the curves

No way we could miss a step

That was us

That was beautiful

Maybe I dropped 

Maybe I let it slip

Now we’re far, now we’re gone

All I hold

Is the image of you

In my dreams

In the night skies

Knowing there’s no more glowing in the dark for my heart.   
~Jesse Abundis