He was Juan, the vampire. The lonely pale girl always used to watch him, seeing how he always used to mow her family’s lawn only at night. The lonely pale girl would always look at him and mutter ” I want his brown babies.” It was racist, but hot if you really think about it.

The pale girl spent nights trying to seduce Juan the vampire, she would dress with the window open, showing off her pale ass, with the tattoo of Lucky The Rabbit ” Silly Rabbit, Ass Is For Kids” Which was creepy and not hot at all, the pale girl regretted it her entire life.

Then of course one night as she slept, Juan crept into her window uttering words of love ” Estoy borracho” and so they banged for two minutes.

Oh, here’s the twist, Juan wasn’t a vampire and he wasn’t paid to mow their lawn, he just read twilight and thought there had to be some white pale girl that would fall for the scam.

THE END

It's got a nice cover

It’s got a nice cover

 

 

The Adventures Of Knight Hood

Written by: John Reid

 

This book had some great potential, but failed as it went along. My first gripe is the how the man becomes Knight-hood. Spoiler, he’s diagnosed with AIDS, Alex Breydon of course tells his doctor ” my girlfriend is the first person I’ve slept with ” Instead of demanding a second opinion he rolls with it… I almost felt like I should stop right there, cause AIDS isn’t something I would just take simply laying back, it’s not the flu. If someone told me I had aids, and this girl I was seeing was my first love, I’d go after her with a baseball bat, you don’t just go home explain it to her, then let her call you the hood rat. You just don’t. But moving along, despite this news it showed us nothing of him getting treatment or how his life was falling apart, another gripe.

They call this a fast pace book, cause it is, it’s skips so fast, so quick, you’re kinda left wondering, is this just the pages of an idea that he wanted to have happen? You’re left with a big empty hole, in a lot of the story. The first 50 pages kinda felt right, but the next 200+ feel like a nightmare. Knight-Hood save …never mind, I’ll just roll with it, like you did with AIDS. Another spoiler, he doesn’t have aids.

 

The way Knight-Hood fought crime was pretty cool, and you just wanted to see things turn bad so you could root for him when had to rise, instead they turned absolutely unbelievable, cause in every fight he would find some way to win. By then you just didn’t care anymore. You couldn’t feel for this guy, you couldn’t get to know him, frankly I couldn’t even root for him, I was rooting for something bad to happen to him.

The book does get its shadow from BATAMN, there’s no way around that, even his Russian assassin sidekick Sergei is a hint to a Robin type character, or Bruce Lee as Kato. Take your pick. Despite all the bad guys tossed into this one, this book doesn’t make up for the fact that it dropped the ball. It’s almost like the author writing this one didn’t want to sit back and just let this man come into his own. Maybe that’s just me.

If the book does come out with a second volume, which they should, cause that’s the power of writing. The author has the power, not the reader. If the author tackles the 2nd volume, give us something darker, it’s ok to see the hero fall, cause seeing him rise up against that new threat is what we want to see, and don’t rush the story build on that moment, stick to the story arch, if this series has 6 vols then make sure volume 2 is the one that sets up the next volumes.

 

I honestly felt if this book had focus on just his up bringing, with one major badass, this book would have been epic even despite the AIDS thing. And yes I know, that maybe the author was trying to hint that Alex knew he didn’t have AIDS, he just wanted to have that notion of death to push himself to do something he never would have.

 

 

ANOTHER GRIPE late intro of a love interest, some girl he saved, they loved each other at the end. That was a big twist, cause not once did they ever show us that they were flirting with the idea of FUCKING LOVE.

 

ANOTHER GRIPE censorship of cursing, if you’re going to say FUCK, just say it.  That’s all the gripes.

 

Now, will I buy the second volume. I probably won’t, not if the author is welling to put a six chapter read for free or more, cause I wanna make sure my time isn’t going to end with me saying ” WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?” and tossing my Kindle against the wall.

 

 

Either way I want to give a shout out to the author. Not a lot of people write superhero genres, this almost had it, but doesn’t mean it still can’t

have it. :)

 

You were careless

You hated

You did your best just to tear me down

You laughed when I was down

You disrespect me when I was left in the rain

You told your friends

That I was just a band-aid

That you were hanging on till something better came along

My words meant nothing

My life was worth less than the gum on your shoe

I try my hardest

Still you got me pegged as less

Let me clarify this

Let me regroup

Let me try to understand

But you laughed

You just enjoyed

Now time has passed

You’re the one left in tears

Found your prince charming

Guy you wanted

Head from toe

He came on a horse

Took you to his castle

You were living the good life

But the dream became a nightmare

He used you

He abused you

He hurt you

Something I’d never do

Now your left picking the pieces

Cutting your hands

Bleeding

You cry in anger

This wasn’t suppose to be

You’ll hate your soul

You’ll wonder what you did wrong

You’ll smile one moment

You’ll cry the next

What makes me an expert in this

Cause I went through this

Now I’m moving on

You’re left alone

Just hearing the whispers of life

Saying

How the mighty have fallen

 

Shit happens

Don’t mean it don’t hurt

What am I suppose to do?

Should I smile

When I want to fucking cry

Should I laugh

When I want to scream

People think I’m wrong

People think I’m insane

Cause I think of suicide

Cause I’m always depress

Cause I gave up on faith

Cause I want my soul to rest

Cause I want to stop those long nights

Cause I want to sleep

Cause I want to be

Cause I want to be alone

Cause I want the world to leave me alone Shit

Don’t look at me

Tell me I’m insane

Like these thoughts never crossed your mind

Like you got the answers

We both know that’s a lie

Maybe I’m fucked up

Maybe I’m not the savior

But I don’t deny

I’m just bouncing through life

Trying to figure this crazy thing called life

Wondering where it’s going to end

Wondering how it’s going to be

Just wondering

Trying to find peace

In a broken land

Hey you

Trying so hard

Trying to dance

Trying to be a party of your own

Shaking what you got

Attracting them

But not I

I want a girl

That know she’s a dork

Funny

Clever

Witty

A Devil in the bed

A little bit weird

Dysfunctional

Damn

Going to make you sweat

Going to make you wet

Damn

Feeling good

Felling great

Damn

You make the rest look like less

You dance and it’s all wrong

Fuck if I care

Damn girl

You’re so freaking sexy

I’ve watched the stars fall silent Through your eyes

I can’t believe

That I believed

Someone like you couldn’t be true

Why can’t we close our eyes

And sleep sweet dreams

I just want the humming birds

I just want the sweetest dreams of you

Look into the stars

Look into the moon

All I see is you

I’m tossing punch lines that were never there

I’m breaking through

I’m bending spoons

I’m keeping flowers in full bloom

All just for you

She’s like a sound never heard before

She’s like air I have never breathe

The moment she speaks

Everything

Everyone disappears

I want her to bare her soul

I want her to bare those thoughts that keep  her up at night

I want her bare

I want her to show me what’s been missing

I want her to show me there’s more to life

I want her

Her body sways

I perspire

She stares at me

And my soul is her’s

I want her near

I want to hear her beating heart as we kiss

I want to brush her cheek with mine

Just to see her turn red

Laughter so divine

Lips so sensual words can not describe

She’s new

She’s the key

She’s everything to me

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